


Moments to remember

by morjens



Series: Moments [5]
Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 17:27:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15124352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morjens/pseuds/morjens
Summary: “I miss you.”Namjoon had sent it last night, 3:12





	Moments to remember

**Author's Note:**

> ... aaaand I'm here again with some JackJoon. Damn, it is hard to write boys who are rarely even at the same country, lol.
> 
>  
> 
> This fic is purely my own imagination and I get nothing from it.

”I miss you.”

Jackson tried to ignore his text messages when he worked but Namjoon made it damn hard. 

They haven’t talked for months. Lord knows how many times Jackson was ready to quit everything, drive to Namjoon’s dorm and bang the door until other one would open. It was so close few times. He almost called him few times, thumb already hovering over call button until he pulled himself together. Namjoon said he didn’t want to continue this, he should respect it. 

But fuck, it did hurt. When he got home from China, he met an empty home and didn’t know who to call. Namjoon had been his first choice, they would talk this and that until other one fell asleep during phone call. Jackson couldn’t speak to anyone, no one from his members knew, no one from Bangtan knew either. Sometimes Jackson felt like Jaebum knew, since he most of the times knew almost everything but they had been pretty under radar with their relationship. No anything public, leaving different times, phone calls that couldn’t be tracked, photos deleted from phone. He had his own folder on a computer for pics Namjoon had sent him, and oh boy, his fans would’ve died. Jackson wasn’t sure why he still kept those there, why he still had Namjoon’s number as one of speed dials. Maybe it was for these nights with torturing himself with thoughts of their happy moments. How Namjoon’s laugh lighted up his whole face and those sinful dimples, oh boy, Jackson was sold on the moment he saw those. 

“I miss you.”

Namjoon had sent it last night, 3:12. Heavy rain had drummed against his window and he had been ready to go to sleep after working with couple of new songs. And then his phone had pinged and Namjoon had sent him this message which was now mocking him.

Jackson didn’t want to think about it. Maybe Namjoon missed him in a friendly way? Maybe Namjoon was drunk and didn’t even mean it? Maybe--

“I miss you too”, was sent before Jackson fully even understood all his actions. Earlier this night he had just grabbed his phone, stared the message and all his rational thoughts had flew away. His fingers were shaking when he dropped his phone back to bed he was laying while watching random tv shows and trying not to think too much.

Not even minute when his phone rang. Jackson hesitated for a moment, Namjoon’s name flashed on a screen. No picture, no sweet names. Just Kim Namjoon.  
“Hi”, Jackson’s voice was squeakier than he wanted.  
“Hi”, Namjoon sounded as breathless as his. Jackson muted his tv, show still running in the background. He heard Namjoon rustling his sheets, he was living alone now too, basically.  
“I--, I miss you, Jackson.”  
“That’s what you said.”  
“I do, I really do.”  
“Well, you were the one to give up.”  
“And you know very well why”, Namjoon sighed.  
“I try always be better person, you know it.”  
“And that’s why you end up overworking, I know.”  
“It’s not like I do it on purpose.”  
“No one is forcing you to sleep only couple hours a week.”  
“I need t--”  
“No one”, Namjoon said and Jackson was silent. This kind of discussion was leading nowhere.

“Why did you send me that message? You need a quickie?” 

Maybe he was bitter. Maybe his heart was still broken, maybe he just wanted to Namjoon feel the same pain as he. He heard Namjoon sigh again.  
“No, I don’t need sex. I just wanted to talk.”  
“It’s one o’clock in the middle of the night.”  
“So? I know you aren’t sleeping.”  
“I could be.”  
“But you aren’t. Stop being so childish, Jackson.”  
“Well I’m sorry mister mastermind. I’m fucking tired of all this shit. I was just trying to get over you when you, _you_ decide to come back and ruin everything with your text. I was doing fine, it’s been two months, I had a work to drown my feelings. Why did you text me now, for fucks sake?” Jackson tried to fight against his tears. 

“Because this is hard for me too. Don’t ever think I won’t go even for a one day without thinking about you. I just feel like I can’t let you go. You mean too fucking much”, Namjoon’s voice was raspy on the other side of the line and Jackson clutched his pillow against his chest.  
“That doesn’t actually answer to my question.”  
“Doesn’t it?”  
“I mean, maybe it does, but you still have to say it.”

Jackson heard how Namjoon sighed, long wobbly breath on the other side of the line.  
“I need you back, Jackson.”

Jackson closed his eyes. The words he had been wanting to hear for so long where there, right in front of him, flowing in his mind, Namjoon’s words little bit breathless as if he was hesitant to actually voice his thoughts.  
“Then we must do something about it.”  
“Mmh”, Jackson heard Namjoon rustling his sheets and rising from the bed. He wasn’t so sure about this anymore. He fidgeted bed sheets on his fist, trying to gather the courage to ask something he had been thinking of.

“Jackson?” Namjoon’s voice was questioning from the other side of the line. He was too attentive for his own good. Must’ve been leaders feature.  
“What if you get tired of me after a week? If I mess up again? Not that I want to. But like, you know, I just do it.”  
“I trust you not to.”  
“You trusted me before too.”  
“I trust you to learn from your mistakes.”  
“I’m not that good, you know.”  
“Stop it.” And there it is, voice of reason, the voice Namjoon uses only when he’s have to, only when he must know that other one will listen.  
“Listen to me”, he ordered and Jackson hummed lowly on the phone. Why was always everything happening through phone? When was the last time they actually saw each other’s?  
“Yeah, I’m listening.”

“I know you’re scared. And, god damnit, I’m too. This is too much of a risk, we both know it. We must keep it super low, never say the same things, never even hint towards it. But I’m willing to try, and you know what, I want to this work. And I know, I know I was stupid before, not wanting to fight for you, for letting you go when you were most vulnerable, and I might never forgive myself for doing it, but I’m here now. I’m here now and I want to try and even though it might mean that we see once a month because someone, _krhm_ , is in China or god knows where and I’m super busy and still living with boys. Will you give me the chance? Jackson?”

Jackson was not able to answer anymore. His tears were streaming on his cheeks, voice only a hiccup and fists grabbing the sheets as he was trying to dry his face. Namjoon sighed.  
“I’ll video call you.”  
“No, I - I look terrible.”  
“Trust me, I’ve seen worse”, Namjoon said and closed the line just to call again. His smile was forming the most beautiful dimples Jackson had ever seen.  
“Aww, look at you”, Namjoon cooed over the phone and his dimples got even deeper, if that was even possible.  
“I hate you, I look awful.”  
“No, you are beautiful. Like every day.”  
“You lie.”  
“Mmh, nope.”

Jackson dried his tears and pulled his blanket up to cover his flushed chest. His words were only a mumble and Namjoon’s laugh made him tear even more.  
“What did you say?”  
“I-- I really would like to try-- try again, you know.”  
“Mmh, I know”, Namjoon hummed and leaned back on the bed end, Jackson heard him thump against it.

“So, when are you next Korea again?”  
“Uh, about that---”  
“Oh, c’mon Jackson”, Namjoon groaned.  
“Not my fault you decided to contact in the middle of my world tour. Maybe I’m in Korea at August, or September, like you know, longer. I don’t know yet.”  
“You know, when your tour ends our tour starts, so no luck with that one. Maybe we can squeeze one night somewhere in between.”  
“I hope so. I do miss your lips. How they wrap around my d--”  
“Jackson”, Namjoon shout-hissed.  
“What?”  
“God damn it, I almost forgot how shameless you sometimes are.”  
“Only almost.”  
“I could never forget you completely, Jack.”

All Jackson was able to do was smile. Maybe everything would be fine, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna scream about JackJoon you can find me on Twitter as _morjens_ ^^


End file.
